There is not a countdown here…we have to enjoy the time we have left with him. If there was an expiration date, it would take away from the fact that he is still here. There is always going to be the natural wonder of when, how, and what it will look like…but why is no longer a part of the questions I ask. I know where I will be too…that is definitely a given. If the consumption of the previous when, how and what were entertained in the least bit, John’s spirit would be robbed of its giving energy and he deserves more than that from me…from his wife. How much longer do we have with John? I do not know…nor do I care. I will make every minute of every day seem like an eternity in my thoughts and he will never leave me….he will never be a brief thought in the daily grind when I get back to what will seem to be a life after him…he will forever be etched in my heart and on my mind. He deserves this from me. There will always be a familiarity of his smell, of his touch, of his voice, of his face, of his love…running rampant inside of my soul. He still, to this day, thanks me for taking care of him…I have always replied back in greater thanks. “Thank you for taking care of my heart,” I say every time. Just because he cannot do the physical things he would do in the past that he considered taking care of his little family, he has always and has continued to take care of my heart….and he has done an incredible job of doing so.