Hi baby. I love you….I know you know how much I love you because I tell you at least 100 times a day. Do you really know how much other people love you? I don’t think you do my sweet angel. It is evident in the outpouring of love, affectionate words, and compassionate action from everyone who has ever come in contact with you, even if it were for a brief second. I know you want to thank so many for what they have done and are doing for you in this time. You are adored by so many and an inspiration to everyone…especially to me, your wife.
When we got the news seven months ago I knew every ounce of our beings, together, were going to fight. I repeated those words to you as we sat on the living room floor…in tears…the day you told me the results…we are going to fight. Fight is exactly what you did. You knew how hard this was going to be….you knew it was going to try and break your spirit….you knew cancer was going to try and take you away from me, your family, your friends, and your life too early and you were not going to let that happen were you? You did it. You fought…you loved….you cried…you felt….everything. Every single thing that happened along the way you were in control of…except the cancer. That beast was relentless baby. It wanted to take over you sooner but again, you did not let it. You made it so much further than the expiration date you were given in the beginning and I am so proud of you. I am so amazingly proud of you and to have been through every part of it with you….right next to you. There was not a moment I felt as if I should be somewhere else. I knew this journey was going to be hard but your bravery, strength and love was all I needed to be right there with you.
I hate cancer baby love. I know you do too....and I know you hate it most of all because it cut our lives together short. Six years was not enough time to soak you in….I want more. How can I not? The light that radiates through you to me is intoxicating. You are a man of few sentences and you are never careless with your words, but when you do speak it seems so profound…even hilarious at times. Cancer also took our future together….especially having our own little ones to pour our immense love on one day. Even though we cannot have those beautiful, blonde haired, blue eyed little angels anymore…I will always have them in my heart….along with you. You are nowhere near being gone, so this is not a letter of goodbye…this is a letter of appreciation and love. We begin this new journey now together to spend every second we can showing our love to one another. I am so lucky I found you….I am so lucky to have loved and will always love you….I am so lucky you wanted to spend the rest of your life with a woman like me. Don’t worry….this is just the first of many letters I will write you as there is so much more to say to your beautiful face for the remainder of your time here with me. I adore you….I just simply adore every ounce of you. Thank you for loving me….