There is so much left in him. Plenty more I like to say. There is so much more love left in him, which in turn, gives him another kick to continue his fight. It has been described numerous times the “…old John is back." The old John has so many elements to his foundation. More than anything, the old John loves to laugh, smile and not say too much without really having some sort of hilarity behind it. So profound he would acclaim to be as he opened his mouth to describe his feelings and thoughts of the day or events. With cancer taking control of his life, of our lives, a few months ago, it was then we realized his “plenty more” persona we see now was suffocated by too much of the illness. It is now so easy to see how much change had happened then since he is now on the upswing. The past is obviously the past right now…something we will not dwell on is how we got to this point or how tough the journey has been thus far, but rather how he is feeling now…like the “old John” again.
We have had a few more visitors to contribute to this revelation of clarity and happiness since big John left last week. Mike and Justin, friends from Indiana, came to visit John through the holiday weekend. We could not have asked for better people to be here this long weekend. They were the perfect end to a second week off from treatment. It was endless laughter and stories of embarrassing moments growing up and throughout college. These stories made sense of how close these three men have become. These three, in a group of many men back in Indiana who I know would have given anything to be here as well, have given so much of themselves to make sure John is thought of as their brother and to walk with him from a distance. There are so many who have been nothing but supportive and all they want is for John to be happy…myself more than anyone.
Life does not come without the rollercoaster ride. No matter what your belief system or whatever it is you decide to lean on, you are in control of whether you ride in terror or excitement from the adventure of its ups and downs. There is no question I have been scared, but thankfully I have someone sitting right next to me, holding my hand and laughing with me to ease the next dip we are to eventually take. Love is pretty much amazing. Our love did exactly what I thought it would do…which is chip away and continue to get rid of the cancer. I have said this many times…we are not out of the woods yet. We know that. We are not stupid. We are far from through with the fight…a little battered and bruised, yes…tired, maybe…giving up, never. It is nice to know we have each other and many to hold hands and squeeze tight as we hit this next peak of the ride. Another week break this week will help too…more time to fatten him up so the “old John’s” body matches his personality again.