Hemoglobin is a protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to the rest of the body…I did not know that myself…I looked it up online my nursing friends. :) John has little of this pumping through his already beaten body. Testing last week had shown his oncologist lower levels of this much needed protein he needs to continue to fight infection and maintaining control of his cancer spreading. Tomorrow we will find out if he needs a blood transfusion to help build this much needed immunity in his body. Like every week we have experienced after chemotherapy, this one has been a rough one. We believe the low count has added to the stress and hope whatever the doctors pull up tomorrow will show us the right direction to point his wellness in to make things…well…better. All we can do is hope for the best. Either way, John is exhausted. Like I have said many times, John is ready for everything to be over. Who can blame those complacent feelings? Headaches have ensued these past few days and do not seem to go away. Medicine and cloudiness fill his brain and my touch has helped half of the time…I wish it was something that would help 100% of the time. All we can do is try…try anything and everything to get some sort of comfort back into his day to day routine.
Though this week has been difficult, John’s dad was here to lift his spirits. It made our week very special to have him in our home. As many of you know, John’s dad “Big John”, as so many of us lovingly call him, has been battling his own form of cancer for the past 5 years. He had countless tumors removed from his leg and a few months ago, Big John had his leg removed. Right before he came to visit, he was fitted for his prosthetic leg but was unable to get it in time for the visit. This set back, by no means, slowed him down. His stamina and stories took John and me for a loop. We were inspired and had an absolute blast with him.
This family has seen the worst with these two men, but at the same time, the absolute best. Both, so young, have been fighting for their lives and we are all so lucky to be a part of these two journeys. A father and son, fighting cancer and both are winning. I wish all of you could see what I see when they sit next to each other. They are so wonderfully similar and every gesture and story sounds the same. Now that the two of them have lost weight, their sweet faces are identical. Even though we will be saddened by his departure tomorrow, our hearts are happier with him here.
Finally, today I went to Brandi Sarrett’s baby shower and she said something so loving, it completely overwhelmed me. We all sat watching her open presents of FSU themed beanies and bibs…giggled along with her as she realized what was missing from her registry...and played games of “guess the baby food flavor” hoping not to vomit from the smell. :) Toward the end, B was reading Denise's card aloud where she felt every single word as she shared it with the room. It was so heartfelt with the description of soon holding her son and how lucky she was to have found her new husband. She looked around the room with tears in her eyes and agreed she had found the man of her dreams, had an angel on the way, and beautiful friends to share it with. I felt my lower lip quiver and had an overwhelming feeling of comparison in the same light. I was so incredibly happy for my wonderful friend and could not love her words any more than I did in that moment. I am lucky as well. I am so lucky. I have John, the man of my dreams, to share my life…and all of you to share in this journey. Thank you so much for reading and many of you, for reminding me how lucky I am.