Everything happens in stages….life, love, and evidently cancer.
Monday we found out the results and Monday was the day everything changed. My sweet angel has stage 4 cancer. Stage 4 is the worst you can have and is exactly how we felt that day…as bad as it gets. Talk about being blindsided. We did not think it was going to be so severe. The doctor did not seem to have an easy time with the reveal either. He then began to tell us the extent. It has spread into his chest and into his abdomen from the source, his esophagus. How could this happen? The doctors cannot seem to figure it out either as to why a young, healthy, in-shape 27 year old man has cancer. He then told us the spreading was happening so quickly and it was incurable. Incurable…like we cannot even fix it. Like hell we won’t. Obviously treatment is our option and the doctors agree because we are not giving up without a fight.
We have had several appointments so far and second opinions from MD Anderson Orlando begin next week along with treatment. Radiation starts the ball rolling and then from there, chemotherapy and surgery. He had a procedure to put a feeding tube in this past Tuesday which has caused him so much pain and has even made him pass out. This tube is to ensure we can still get nutrients in his body when radiation starts in case it causes his tumor to swell in the coming treatments.
There have been many tearful nights. The question is why? Why is the question I cannot stop asking. I get it…there is some sort of plan for us. Everything happens for a reason. I get it...but why in the world would it happen to someone so perfect and at such a young age? He is my life…my soul mate…my sweet angel. He should never be in pain for one second and we both know, it is only going to get harder with treatment. I am not going to lie, this is so hard. We are lucky because we have had so much support from family and friends. It is amazing the outpouring of love and I cannot seem to thank everyone enough.
I have to thank John more than anyone. He has been so brave. I am so lucky to have him in my life. He is my everything and like always, I am going to be right next to him every step of the way. I love him more than breathing and this has to go away.