Stage 4

Everything happens in stages….life, love, and evidently cancer.

Monday we found out the results and Monday was the day everything changed. My sweet angel has stage 4 cancer. Stage 4 is the worst you can have and is exactly how we felt that day…as bad as it gets. Talk about being blindsided. We did not think it was going to be so severe. The doctor did not seem to have an easy time with the reveal either. He then began to tell us the extent. It has spread into his chest and into his abdomen from the source, his esophagus. How could this happen? The doctors cannot seem to figure it out either as to why a young, healthy, in-shape 27 year old man has cancer. He then told us the spreading was happening so quickly and it was incurable. Incurable…like we cannot even fix it. Like hell we won’t. Obviously treatment is our option and the doctors agree because we are not giving up without a fight.

We have had several appointments so far and second opinions from MD Anderson Orlando begin next week along with treatment. Radiation starts the ball rolling and then from there, chemotherapy and surgery. He had a procedure to put a feeding tube in this past Tuesday which has caused him so much pain and has even made him pass out. This tube is to ensure we can still get nutrients in his body when radiation starts in case it causes his tumor to swell in the coming treatments.

There have been many tearful nights. The question is why? Why is the question I cannot stop asking. I get it…there is some sort of plan for us. Everything happens for a reason. I get it...but why in the world would it happen to someone so perfect and at such a young age? He is my life…my soul mate…my sweet angel. He should never be in pain for one second and we both know, it is only going to get harder with treatment. I am not going to lie, this is so hard. We are lucky because we have had so much support from family and friends. It is amazing the outpouring of love and I cannot seem to thank everyone enough.

I have to thank John more than anyone. He has been so brave. I am so lucky to have him in my life. He is my everything and like always, I am going to be right next to him every step of the way. I love him more than breathing and this has to go away.


  1. Hey Cathrine, I have been following your blog and want to share something that will hopefully help in this time of uncertainty. My aunt was diagnosed in 2009 with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Like John she is a healthy, active individual who was blindsided by this disease. She followed the same path John is taking with radiation, chemo, then surgery. Miraculously today she is 100% free of cancer and in full remission. The Doctors threw the word incurable at her, but her body responded to the treatment, and now she is just following up with the maintenance chemo. I know that this won't take the pain away, but I wanted to share this story with you so you know that he can beat it! It's going to be a rough road, but my aunt looked at it as a hurdle. We are all thinking about you here in dallas and praying daily! I hope you feel every bit of support you have, and lean on those around you!

  2. oh cat and john.
    my heart is heavy for ya'll this morning. i'm so sorry to hear this news, but i pray that you will have a story like the above commenter.
    thinking of ya'll often...

  3. I just wanted to leave a comment so that you know we are all following along :-)

    Incurable is just a word. It's what they are trained to say and do...but I know you guys, and how much you love one another, and how hard you work together. You live with the most amazing friend, you have the greatest coworkers and best friends and background friends. So many people would kill to have the support system you do. I know you know all of this, but i just wanted to reaffirm.

    Your spirit is beautiful. The Law of Attraction is very real...stay positive even when it's hard (you are good at that). Use your friends, use your family, cry all you want to, and don't be afraid to be mad. Then...move forward. Your husband is SO lucky to have you.

  4. Hey Cat and John....just want you to know that we are thinking of you guys and send our love...let us know if there is ANYTHING we can do....

    Your Canada Friends, Renee and Travis

  5. My gosh Cat and John....I just want to say that I really don't know what to say. I'm sure everyone who knows and loves you two would give anything to say the right thing...you know that one thing that will make it all better - make it just go away. I'm rambling. I LOVE YOU guys so much and you have to no matter what claim victory over this thing and keep fighting. Your love is undeniably one of the most beautiful things I've seen. You two are just BEAUTIFUL. Always remember that you are in our hearts.

  6. Once again, I am so sorry to hear this news. But you know what? MD Anderson is the BEST hospital there is. They helped my Mom back in the day, and I know John will be in good hands. Doctors don't know everything and they cannot tell you the future - miracles happen all the time!

    I'm thinking of you both every day, and you are in my prayers. xoxo

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  8. Cat, I am amazed with your words and strenght. I loved you the first time I met you. We are so lucky to have you in our lives. Hang in there this is gonna be a tough ride. I love you John!!
    If you guys need anything money...ect. let me know. I pray for a miracle everyday. My heart is so broken.

  9. Cathrine,

    I just heard about what is happening in your life this morning. Words won't justify how I felt when I read the sentences you have posted. All I can say is that I will think about you guys every day and hope and pray that this will be overcome.

    One of your greatest characteristics is your strength. Anyone who knows you can testify. Absolutely, as Shannon said, be strong, be together, challenge this block in the road and believe that this will be overcome. How you have expressed yourself is a trait not many people would be able to do in a time like this and John is very lucky to have someone like you in his corner.

  10. I just started to read your blog tonight. I really am at a loss of words about the news about your husband. It seems like cancer is slowly creeping more, and more into our lives! I am glad you two are going to fight this and I pray that God grants you strength along the way! You will be in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you for sharing your story!