24-48 hours after chemo...

So they said it would be hard…and it was. His body could not seem to get enough of the ailment out of him beyond the 24-48. His nausea is constant and the vomiting is soon thereafter. The routine of going to the bathroom together has become a part of our daily and nightly ritual, out of bed and to the toilet so he can extract any buildup he had acquired from lying down. The buildup he has on top of the tumor is all that would come out until two days ago, we had our first little victory. The other morning, there was stomach bile...this meant his tumor was moving aside or somehow shrinking because of the treatment thus far. This has now happened twice and we have our own little celebration together. I know…graphic, but again, this has become a daily part of our lives, so we will celebrate the little things. We look at the extractions, though painful and horrible to go through, as something to rid the cancer…to push it out of his body…to be free of it…to be done…and to move on from this disease.

The days following the infamous 24-48 hours later consisted of more nausea, but with some eating. Again, another small victory. It is nowhere near what my athletic build of a husband ate in the past, but it has become a few bites of food once a day. We have been utilizing the feeding tube the past few weeks due to the lack of swallowing John is capable of doing. I am now his nurse and he is now my patient. Every day starts with a few cc’s of liquid either from the juicer of all natural greens or a protein filled drink…all to keep his health and weight maintained to the best of our abilities. He has lost 14 pounds in the last three weeks, but again, we are trying our hardest to keep as much food in him as possible. These little victories start to add up and I am so proud of how far he has come and how much he is pushing himself. This is not an easy road, but he has taken great strides to get himself better. Yesterday, John felt up for going to the beach, so we took him. It was such a wonderful day and the water, sand, sun and sea air was different for him to look at and feel besides the television or our bedroom fan. I know being in bed for him all the time is difficult, but it is also the place helping with the healing process right now. Keeping him comfortable is important and we believe will speed up his recovery process.

Visitors are in and out of the house from out of state and those who live near. My mom was recently in town and was such an amazing spirit and force to have around. Nichole’s beautiful face is also here from Chicago and those who live near come as often as they can. Today, Nichole asked me what our story was and how we met. This is probably my favorite subject when it comes to John and I and where we came from as a couple. It was almost six years ago and I spent Thanksgiving with Stephanie that year, John’s aunt. Her and I had been such great friends and when she found out my parents were going out of town that holiday, she invited me to spend it with hers. I am so glad I did. I do not remember the meal or what we ate, I do not remember the games played or what football matchups were on television, and I could barely remember my first name when he walked through the door that day…wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey. Talk about love at first sight. After that question, it was then, I starting looking back at everything we have enjoyed together, laughed at, spent time with, loved as much, where we lived, who we encountered, and what we have endured as a couple…it brought a smile to my face. These years spent with John have been the best years of my life. This is so easy to say even with all the muck we have been through as a team.

Who else is on our team now? All of you. Team Goddard.



  2. I still think of you everyday, probably more (if that is possible) since I just got to visit! I wish I was there watching movies with John and laughing with you both. Being Wednesday,I would imagine today has been a tough one. Just count the days down and keep your strength up as best you can.....20 days left!

    Love you-Nik