We are in the final stretch. It is an unbelievable feeling I have right now running through my veins. I look at him and ask if he feels the same way and he keeps saying, “I can’t wait.” He has completed 18 rounds of radiation and he has 7 more to go…Monday through Friday this week and then Monday and Tuesday of next week. From there, we find out what the next plan of action will be and more tests to see how well radiation took care of the repulsiveness living in his body. After the infamous “7” and the tests, we will then find out what kind of full blown chemotherapy treatments he will have to endure. Endure. More like endurance. It is all a matter of endurance from this point on. Who is going to win? John or the cancer? The answer…he will far outlast the cancer and what it thinks it has planned for him.
Through this we have stayed positive but the journey is far from over…he knows how much more of a beating his body still has to go through. The number 7 seems so small compared to the initial 25 we were given in the beginning. Chemotherapy is still tomorrow, but we are not sure of the next Monday considering he will not be going through a full week of radiation…that is a question we will be asking the oncologist tomorrow.
This has been a tough weekend for John. The radiation specialist told us his eating would soon slow down and become uncomfortable once again…he was right. He did say it was not because the radiation was not working or because the tumor was winning the fight but rather the radiation was basically frying his insides. The amount of radiation he is undergoing and where they are targeting the treatment is destroying the “bad” along with the “good”. You can see it in his face every time I ask him if he wants to eat. This excruciating look comes over him as he shakes his head no. It is then we resort to the feeding tube getting as much nutrition as we can into him. Again, like I said before, it is his daily battle with food and I wish everyone can see his determination as he tries so hard to eat.
Food…a battle. Nausea…a battle. Cancer…his ultimate battle. John…the soon victor.