beautiful....

Are you sitting down? Take your time…I will wait………………………………………..okay, long enough. We found out the most amazing news in the entire world today. At John’s stomach tube removal appointment I discussed in the previous blog entry, we set up another endoscopy appointment for today with the gastroenterologist. In this appointment, we were to see the progress his tumor had made and how his stomach was looking after all the treatments John had received thus far. So today came the 1:45 appointment and we made our way to the office. He was called back rather quickly and I sat with him until they took him to the surgical area. During my wait, I went to the gas station to pick up vitamin water for John since he was not allowed to eat or drink anything since the day before. I figured he might want something rather than plain water. I came back, plopped down in the waiting room for another few minutes, and was escorted soon thereafter to see him out of the procedure. “Today was fast,” I mumbled as the nurse walked me to meet John in the recovery area. “You were the last one of the day,” she explained. As I rounded the corner, I saw the gastro doc (the same one we know and love discussed in the previous entry) standing next to John’s bed. I was excited to see John, kissed his forehead and looked at the doctor with such anxiety and hope. He opened John’s file and said, “Let me give you a comparison of the before and after.” There were photos of John’s esophagus prior to treatment that showed large masses clogging the passage way to his stomach. He described his first endoscopy to us as he had to push aside those tumors to get further down the esophagus. Then, he flipped the page to the “after” photo. The photo from today. The photo that made my knees weak. It was the most beautiful photo I have ever seen in my life. It was clear. I looked up at Dr. Q with my hand over my mouth in amazement.

“This is the best case scenario…95% of the original tumors are gone.”

We could not believe it. He further stated John was not out of the woods yet, but this was beyond the progress he expected to see from treatment. Biopsies were sent from his esophagus and stomach that will more than likely show malignant results, but it is still an unbelievable amount of progress. He did find ulcers in his stomach, which he gave a prescription for, due to the amount of stress, chemotherapy, and the excessive amount of medication John is on at this time. He said these ulcers could be a large part of his current nausea so we are excited to rid of them soon. Though his esophagus is still inflamed, we are light years away from where we were 5 months ago.

As we walked to the car in the parking lot after hearing the great news, we could not even make it there without stopping, crying and holding each other for what seemed like hours. “You did it,” I kept repeating to him as we sobbed together. The entire ride home was full of elated comments and squeezing hand holds. “I never really understood why people would cry when they were happy. It never made sense to me until right now…I am so happy,” John said to me as tears streamed down his flushed cheeks. The tears did not stop until we found ourselves still holding each other on our bed at home. He really did it. He is still continuing to do it. We know this journey was not done alone as we are so thankful to have family and friends still by our sides. Again, like Dr. Q said, we are not cured or done with this fight. We still have things to battle like the rest of the cancer cells, draining his chest, and weight gain, but at least we can see great progress and that beautiful, modest light at the end of the tunnel seeming to warm our hearts a little more each day.

With this being said…John and I are going away. We are going off the grid for a week and I think we really need this break. No doctors, no appointments, no treatments, no cancer for a week straight…just John, myself and our love. We will leave for Miami tomorrow afternoon and board the Royal Caribbean cruise line on Sunday for an eastern Caribbean cruise. We will take a lot of photos and of course, I will be sure to fatten John up as much as I can these much needed 7 days away. See you all when we get back!!!!