It is an interesting feeling knowing I have extended my hand to take you along on this journey and the support is showing no signs of slowing down. Though we do not reveal everything on this blog…we do tell you a lot. There are still certain aspects of this life that deserve to stay sacred between a husband and wife but it does not mean we have/will not be honest. We do not hide much…there is no need to. What we are feeling and what happens in our day to day is something that should be talked about…maybe it will help someone out there realize something…anything in their life that could be altered or improved upon because of this electronic diary. That is fine…why not? We have always been an open book and now with this battle, it is even more magnified and less controlled. Our pain is felt, our tears are seen, and our love is read…here…every emotion is put here…in our own words.
We still cannot get over the fact this is happening. We cry every single day. One of us will start and the other will follow closely behind. It is hard to watch my sweet angel fall apart. I try to stay strong and smile as often as I can in front of him…to try and cry by myself…but the moment I see his tears, I feel mine roll down my already damp cheeks. This is not getting any easier and emotionally, we get pummeled to the ground with every passing day. It does not mean we do not try to press on and keep moving. John did get out of the house this weekend…we went to the mall because he wanted to. His mom, sister, John and I went for a walk around an incredibly busy mall…all in his wheelchair. I could see him in the front seat of the car on the way to the mall and back home...soaking it all in . Every so often, he would close his eyes as if he was really feeling the heat of the sun shining through the passenger window on his skin and taking in that moment to its fullest extent. It was a beautiful thing to watch. All in all, it was a good weekend…as good as it can be for what he is going through.
For those of you still reading and still following…thank you for continually taking my hand.