take my hand...

It is an interesting feeling knowing I have extended my hand to take you along on this journey and the support is showing no signs of slowing down. Though we do not reveal everything on this blog…we do tell you a lot. There are still certain aspects of this life that deserve to stay sacred between a husband and wife but it does not mean we have/will not be honest. We do not hide much…there is no need to. What we are feeling and what happens in our day to day is something that should be talked about…maybe it will help someone out there realize something…anything in their life that could be altered or improved upon because of this electronic diary. That is fine…why not? We have always been an open book and now with this battle, it is even more magnified and less controlled. Our pain is felt, our tears are seen, and our love is read…here…every emotion is put here…in our own words.

We still cannot get over the fact this is happening. We cry every single day. One of us will start and the other will follow closely behind. It is hard to watch my sweet angel fall apart. I try to stay strong and smile as often as I can in front of him…to try and cry by myself…but the moment I see his tears, I feel mine roll down my already damp cheeks. This is not getting any easier and emotionally, we get pummeled to the ground with every passing day. It does not mean we do not try to press on and keep moving. John did get out of the house this weekend…we went to the mall because he wanted to. His mom, sister, John and I went for a walk around an incredibly busy mall…all in his wheelchair. I could see him in the front seat of the car on the way to the mall and back home...soaking it all in . Every so often, he would close his eyes as if he was really feeling the heat of the sun shining through the passenger window on his skin and taking in that moment to its fullest extent. It was a beautiful thing to watch. All in all, it was a good weekend…as good as it can be for what he is going through.

For those of you still reading and still following…thank you for continually taking my hand.


  1. :) X 1,000,000

    love you both,
    Holly and JB

  2. I don't know you guys in a face to face way...but you have shared your intimate moments with me and I am thankful and grateful.

    I am giving you my hand to hold through this time of great emotions. Your love for each other is beautiful. Thank you for your hearts. Peace be with you always. Loving you in Canada and praying for miracles. Kimberly

  3. Thank you for allowing us to follow along your journey, you both are amazing people.

  4. I'm so glad he got to go to the mall. I'm thankful he was strong enough to take that walk with his beautiful wife. Everyday I pray that you continue to have those special moments with him. :-)

  5. Your story is amazing and inspirational. Thank you for sharing. I pray for you each time I read your words. Love from St. Louis.

  6. My heart just breaks for you two every time I read your blog. Life is such an incredibly beautiful gift and I will never understand why these terrible twists are allowed to take place. I continue to pray for your both. That you may have peace and solace in these the final days. God bless you both.

  7. I read everyone of your blogs and i am honored to know both of you. You both are dealing with life events that no one wants to ever deal with....i am truly touched that you are willing to share your story with us. I wish i had the words to communicate with you guys but i love you both!!!


  8. Hi Cat! You do not know me, my name is Koko. I know John from Aldi. We were in the "Aldi Boot Camp" together when we all got hired. He sat in front of me and worked on the team with Robyn, Joe, myself and a few others. Please tell John I said hello and that he is in my thoughts and prayers as are you. Koko (kokocsm@aol.com).

  9. Cat, you and John are in my thoughts and prayers every day..I pray that God continue to strengthen and help you through this journey...
    thank you for being open and real...you have touched my life forever...

  10. I keep telling myself it's so silly to cry but I feel for both of you so deeply. We love you and we feel your pain, at least as much to the extent that we are able.
    love you forever. promise.

  11. Cat, you and John continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish there was something more I could do for you. However I know our friends, Stephanie and Dustin and Nichole and Michael are always there for you.

  12. Cancer is so limited that:

    It cannot cripple love
    It cannot shatter hope
    It cannot corrode faith
    It cannot destroy peace
    It cannot kill friendship
    It cannot suppress memories
    It cannot silence courage
    It cannot invade the soul
    It cannot steal eternal life
    It cannot conquer the spirit