our anniversary...

How do I sum up our first year together? There are not enough thoughtful words in the English dictionary to make it worthwhile. We celebrated our one year wedding anniversary yesterday and made the best out of our situation together now. We could not go out to eat or out to a movie, but rather enjoyed each other’s company inside from the comfort of our own home…isn’t that the point? To fully take pleasure in one another without conditions is what the day should be all about. It is to look back on your wedding day and do nothing but smile. I know we did yesterday and do daily. We have talked of our wedding day many times and how we would never take back our decision to elope. Yesterday, on our anniversary, we reminisced again. “Do you remember when…” or “I laughed so hard when…” seemed to start every sentence yesterday as we discussed our journey thus far. We did not talk about cancer, we did not talk about nausea, we did not talk about struggle, and we certainly did not cry. Yesterday was a good day through and through because we felt the love flow more than ever.

He has put on a strong front this past week. He has had chemo pumping into his veins day and night, nonstop since Monday. We cannot wait to go to the doctor tomorrow afternoon and get the device removed from his port so we can have a semi normal life again. From there, he gets a two week break to then do it all over again. How many more times?...we do not know. All we know is to take it one day at a time and get through what is in front of us. We are still draining his chest every other day, 600 CCs every time. It is still the same sterile process and we have to be so careful to keep everything clean and sanitary in the practice. That is another thing we are looking forward to…the draining to stop. The oncologist and the lung specialist stated the draining may stop (without surgery) while chemo is in play…we hope the chemo obviously takes care of the cancer too. There are so many things going on in his body. With his weight loss now at 50 pounds, I wonder how much more it can take. There is an unmistakable drive he has in his eyes and one that is still full of care. It was even more beautiful to see on our day yesterday. I know I talk about it in every post but it is true. I am a lucky woman to not only be married to this man, to take care of him, to be his nurse, to be the woman he is in love with, but to be in the presence of such power. I tell him daily I am so proud of him. I know his family and friends are as well…I just tend to be the messenger of those kind words and the arms that get to hold him day after day.

So here we go…almost done with his first round of chemo and it has been incredibly tough but we made it. We still celebrated our one year anniversary with great admiration for one another and John joked today and said, “364 more days until our next one baby.” That made my day today…and he is right. There will be a next one and quite a few more after that. Thanks for following along…please continue to join us for the next 364 to then tell you about our second wedding anniversary together…won’t you?